|work work work
||[Feb. 1st, 2011|01:15 am]
So I am going to classes going to work, trying to organize myself and keep all the balls in the air at once. I am reading two books, Margaret Atwood's the handmaid's tale which will get a full post once I am finished, and my cousins grandmothers autobiography which should also get a post once that is finished. I am dieting and working out regularly, keeping my brain active as much as possible. I have cleaned up my computer and re-rigged all my internet security passcodes along with a full wipe/scan of the laptop so i am starting fresh and clean as a whistle. I have decided to pay my parents a small rent out of my paycheck so long as i am living here and will be moving my belongings into the bigger room a month or two's time, once i have paid up pretty much. I need to sell my car and try and buy a new one... the problem is an engine one so I dunno how much I expect to get out of it but i am in no hurry and i'll be sure to do plenty of research first. February's always fly fast so I am trying to do everything I can right now to prepare myself for this reality. Once March comes I need to be snugly fit into a routine so when Owen visits I can hang out/unwind a little. Thursday is my tentative date for diving back into the pool and starting back up my swimming regimen. If I can fit in swimming into my weeks I hope to lose even more weight and come down to a more reasonable 219 by the end of February. I have a couple of decisions I need to make in the coming week I'll probably reason out here once I have more information. One of my coworkers is a cool progressive science fiction fan and is challenging me to read more important classics so I am gonna try and tackle the foundation series or some other such thing in between my school literature. I am talking and reading politics again but I haven't been able to formulate any solid responses or critical ideas. My writer's block seems to be fading more and more every day and I feel stronger and more confident in the tonality of my written voice which i attribute to the medicine (well that or the reading). I am going to try and post a response to the state of the union tomorrow after I have done a little research/conversed with a few of my respected colleagues I find I am a better speaker than I am writer so I'll try and formulate the beginnings of my ideas in conversation and refine my points into prose.
My birthday is coming up, February 12th, I am turning the big 2, 5, a quarter of a century and for some reason I have this lingering dread revolving around the date. As if something is supposed to have happened by my twenty-fifth birthday or as if time runs out on the clock of life. I have nightmares sometimes, about the REA or the BFD the GCOS, acronyms that only my mind should be able to unlock. I feel good though, I shake off the nightmares and the deja vu and the murkiness and I walk proudly to where ever I need to go. I feel safe and secure and most of all I feel correct.
Once I have worked out the expenses I need to pay off with my first couple of paychecks, I want to modernize. Buy an Itunes account and purchase music legitimately, buy a Pandora and Hulu subscription and break off my addiction to piracy and cable programming, buy a bike for spring time commuting, save up to travel I want to see the world still travel the country and visit the farthest reaches of my map of friends.
I want to end with a song and shout out to a friend who I have become much closer to recently. The song is the Buggles-video killed the radio star and the friend is Derik Stiller. What started out as a casual internet friendship has turned into a rounding post on which my stability has hinged, a loyal and wonderful friend who understands and accepts me as I am, and has helped me through recent scares and reluctant recovery. Thanks Derik, I honestly hope that you get even half of the benefits out of our friendship that I enjoy for knowing you. May our future continue together.